I batheincricket’smilk so I don’t have to photoshop my nudes as much. A 12 oz. can of barn owl contains about 10 tsp. of marionette. Animals often like me because we have the same taste in hip hop. People who possess special glands that filter the salt out of seawater are more likely to agree with each other. The limbless child remembers when the plaza was all covered in string. How terrified the mules will be when my 16’ stuffed alpaca hurtles toward them, spouting fire and appearing to move of its own free will. Lookin’ ass cuttlefish or octopods sometimes attain a very great size, and sailors tell wonderful stories about them. I’m not certain that my pet rock died of natural causes. This week’s artist exhibits a curled proboscis, suggesting it originates from a leafy grove cultivated in honor of the sightless dead. I only morph into soil recreationally on weekends, with the faith that gardening could never happen to me personally. Kawaii flatulence evolved from a humble cattle-catching tool into a sport that delights millions with its complex patterns of verbal abuse. (basket? furnace? jug? tub? cask? funnel? squid! gearwheel! goblet! smoke! syntax!) My eyeballs just turned into ripe kumquats and fell out of my head.
rumor has it that you were caught sunbathing nude at walmart in an attempt to woo the wild raisins (who just happen to be at their peak since it is after all june). is this true? if yes, how do you think this will affect your role among the public as 'pale', 'soft-grunge', and/or 'politically-anemic'
Under influence of soft grunge nudity, the wild grape berry (not yet a raisin, please note) is at first excited, then its flesh contracts and afterwards shrivels. The fruit is now asleep and insensible to pain. Without anesthetic, a raisin has come into being. God damn it, I am providing a service.
Hi. I request an opportunity to interview you for my internet culture and art blog. My readership would appreciate the perspective of a zestybagatelle such as yourself. If you're interested, send back your email and I'll send you over the questions.
I had my pancreas removed and surgically converted into a chihuahua, and that is doubtless enough for us to linger over at this present moment.
The blanket is on fire, the dolls lie shattered, and the picnic basket of erotic hiccups sits next to Quelvorque while he reaches inside and gropes futilely, hoping to find his own intestines. He’s wearing a face all pinched and wizened from too much zest, and he twerks on occasion like a nectarine upon a chimney-piece. Shiny buckles, too. Good ol’ Quelvorque.
Stop trying to tie ribbons to my silhouette. Your granny deserves the very best, but don’t feed her moonshine made from the blood of diabetic animals to test its value as an anesthetic salad dressing. Throughout 1887, the clowns of a reputed circus in Paris would escalate our pangs for nonexistent kinds of food with great dexterity. Tired of chewing, I found a way to use text emoticons to remove nutrients from vegetables. Celebrities who I didn’t know weren’t dead yet keep dying. I hate smelling burnt onions and witnessing the ghost of a urinating child when all I wanted was a late night snack. Cut to brutal scenes of sentient pine cones gunned down by mermaids. When a penguin is placed atop a chimpanzee, the small space created between rump and cranium is known as the szackumentiphicorniculerus. T-800 does not wear an apron when preparing the Terminator Custard (it’s pretty rare a Terminator makes Terminator Custard without an apron). That mysterious new control panel near your sink now contains magnetic sponges. I’m sick of symphonic crescendos blasting abruptly whenever I find eggs, not to mention those goddamn drive-by orthodontists crowning, polishing, and straightening my kitchen window icicles.
In order to avoid looking like a psycho and liking all of your pictures, I'll just tell you here. I love your stuff. Nice work.
There is a type of clown makeup that, when applied in the right style, will make someone 60% more dexterous at climbing trees. No one knows the reason. Why aren’t you here to hold my beagle while I contemplate this?