Now at 2mb for enhanced poignancy
Sadly, ink sacs are still only found on mollusks, so that "Baby Goat Fried in its Own Ink" remains a culinary impossibility. The cat’s away till the cows come home. Wanted: a new kind of nightingale kidney simulator that runs on ChapStick. I can just imagine you getting your entire skeleton magnetized before lunchtime. Elizabethan harp seals had sharp tusks and could taste gravity. Stop stashing me beneath old, ornate teak fixtures when I’m not awake. We never make mistakes, just grotesque little accidents. You can lead your grandmother to water, but you can’t teach her to suck eggs. Half a loaf is worth two in the bush. Footage of Guantanamo detainees is being used to torture Muppets. Press chin against monitor to see the effect of adding concentrated hydrogen peroxide to diced fetal mermaid haunches. Ask your local video rental outlet about the student nurses who decided to metamorphose into fish, changed their minds halfway, then got into wacky fights on WorldStarHipHop. Time will tell all of your most cheddar secrets. Whether or not you believe in their healing properties, my kidney stones make stunning collectors’ items, complementing my wide-ranging collection of astronaut feces.
mewiththenight said: Where do find your self alone?
The walls of this dump teem with elderly flying fish who won’t leave until I give each one a novelty latex witch nose & chin set. They are too many. I shall never have peace.
necrophiliiac said: Do you like dogs or cats more?
Well, a robust specimen of cat (like a plump Blenheim Orange kitten, for example) will be known for its graceful foliage but also for releasing poisonous fumes so that no insect can dwell in its shadow. A single gust of ventilation from its buttocks can transport nausea, inguinal aches, and chills. A Bismarck schnauzer, on the other hand, can manifest in phantom-form, without roots, and produce blossoms that actually purify the air. But pooch blossoms can disturb some olfactory nerves and in the end it’s really a matter of personal taste.
THE FOURTH ITEM INSPECTED: A VESSEL MADE OF BLOWN GLASS AND SILVER, OPENING FROM THE BOTTOM, EQUILATERAL BUT FOR AN ORNAMENTAL FACE AND FILIGREE SPIRALS SUGGESTIVE OF A NAUTILUS SHELL.
Gewgaws of this general design can, at least in theory, be submerged while retaining air, by means of a principle observed by Aristotle (Problemata 32). They date from Antiquity and were originally understood to represent Pumphon, the tutelary deity of pirates (son of Mercury and the Nereid Pontoporia), who would often appear to mortals as the hybrid of an enormous cephalopod and a living ship helmed by mute, stunted figures. Well-preserved examples from the Roman era have been found among the ruins of the ancient canal city of Carqueviscum, in the center of the Black Sea.
SOPHELAIDE. This odd jar is just like one I had as a child — they could almost be one and the same. I recall an excursion to Draephedusa, along the coast. My sisters and I had a mass of aniseed bonbons to share. I stole their portions and ran and hid in a half-flooded cave. I wasn’t so greedy as all that; I merely wanted a reason to test this magic receptacle, to hide a stolen treasure where no one could find it.
I placed the vessel in a cleft beneath the water line for an hour or so, and to my recollection it kept the candies dry. I also remember several pretty objects, including polished animal skulls, in rows on ledges of rock near the ceiling of the cave. I thought they were toys as well, belonging to someone else. I couldn’t reach them.
(Source: euxinova.com, via euxinova)
Tumblr, I love you.
Now at 2mb for increased sensitivity
and this particular animation still amuses me and I’m glad it’s a thing that exists.
How it feels to chew 5 Gum.
Well this is umm … Idon’t know what this is
This is an accurate representation of my feelings tonight hahahhaa
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Obviously a commentary on America’s dependence on oil, and its foreign policies isolating us further and further from the global theater.
This is me everyday of always
Innovative tech idea: a soft grunge sexual aid that appears to double as a chastity belt for your pet tarantula that is also a superhero film in which the hero has already been ground into pasta filling and people sit around eating tortellini and nothing happens. This statement cannot be unverified. Try it. My pet jumbo size carnivorous barnacle has so much joie de vivre that i can’t provide it with enough exciting activities and am a bad owner. My salt shaker is chock full o’ mosquito tonsils, but if I sprinkle out 150, it will be merely full and no longer chock. Please don’t tell anyone how I use my amazing Lucite uvula to train wasp collectives to lick my flatware. The quaized micronoglürk has three round-headed plinques on it, whilst some linen or other cloth still adheres to its insides. To vinch where it pletches is better than ripe queents or eelziporphlexes. Hummingbirds that thrive in corrupt meat give birth to microscopic clowns 7 times out of 10. Once again, in the background of a soft grunge image of mine, you have appeared clad in a non-soft grunge hat, and this is not appreciated. It’s time to stop romanticizing the way baby swans explode when you feed them self-healing coconut-almond cookies capable of data transmission that measure pulse and respiration rate while melting inside the body. I like to drink diabetic cats because their blood is sweet with unmetabolized kitty-glucose.
this makes me want to cry
So why does this picture make me feel some type of way?