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(Source: zbags)

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The Aromatic Dwarf Chameleon (Bradypodion olfactorium) is the only known member of its genus able to change odor instead of color — likely a result of its crepuscular habits. Corpulent, slow and lacking a prehensile tail, it is easily caught, and requires minimal care as a pet. It remains a favorite with children, who enjoy the pastime of determining which scents it imitates best. (Mint-flavored candies work well in this regard.) Keep this animal away from waste receptacles, shoes, and pungent cheese.
(made rebloggable by request)

The Aromatic Dwarf Chameleon (Bradypodion olfactorium) is the only known member of its genus able to change odor instead of color — likely a result of its crepuscular habits. Corpulent, slow and lacking a prehensile tail, it is easily caught, and requires minimal care as a pet. It remains a favorite with children, who enjoy the pastime of determining which scents it imitates best. (Mint-flavored candies work well in this regard.) Keep this animal away from waste receptacles, shoes, and pungent cheese.

(made rebloggable by request)

(Source: zbags, via zbags)

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ladynoirette:

howdoipunk:

This made me feel very very uncomfortable.

omg cool!

ladynoirette:

howdoipunk:

This made me feel very very uncomfortable.

omg cool!

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(Source: zbags)

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Your kidney stones were secretly magnetized by the U.S. government because you are beautiful. Why caress your nipples with sedated hedgehogs when you could be talking about ketchup? This sentence is important because people have a right to know. “I thought a hubcap took only 2 to 5 minutes to dematerialize,” quizzed the perky faun, spying a mound of cheddar outside the gazebo that housed a particle weapon that turned shoelaces into toothpaste. It’s a special horror mask, made just for lobsters: be gentle. Simply shift the Kia Soul into reverse and keep going until one or more rattlesnake ovulates. The insect who devoured my cousins long ago is buddies with me now (his 1st name is zzzz’xuuuu-xuu’uuu-xuuuu-xu-xu-xu-zz’zzx’x’x’x’x’x). [Petals? Snout? Mist?] Once Aphrodite had tweeted Hermes five times, he printed the tweets out, rolled them into pipes and so created a divine instrument. With proper training, a bumblebee can swallow thousands of wolves. Before she died, she used the remaining shoelace to lynch the Malibu Ken. Why didn’t she call for help? Employees claim she still walks in the halls at night, drizzling caramel that never leaves a stain, making rude comments about your genitals.

(Source: zbags)

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bennaner:

mintma:

trow1960:

zbags:

The Hummingcob enjoys double recognition as the only amphibian species capable of genuine flight and the single source of edible honey apart from the bee. The condiment derives from an enzymatic process in the animal’s jowls when it regurgitates nectar on its egg deposits, providing essential nutrition for the unhatched fry.

Hummingcobs partake of a single flower, the Balkan clover (Trifolium moesium). They distribute pollen via their motile combs, which can grip the blossoms to stabilize their heads when feeding. Unlike the marine hippocampus that it superficially resembles, a hummingcob’s tail does not fully coil, but will wind around a reed stalk when the animal is at rest.

Subsisting only on nectar while bringing its eggs to term, a hummingcob will shed weight, granting it exceptional maneuverability in flight. During other cycles, it will also feed on tiny airborne mites for protein — honey production then is not possible.

Known only to flourish near the perennially damp hot spring craters of Varstulla Minor (site of ancient Roman baths), hummingcobs are also found in hothouses across Euxinova, where the famed Balkan Clover Strained honey is produced by licensed manufacturers and enthused hobbyists.

That thing does not really exist! Does it? :-/

amazing

Why cant we have these?

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(Source: zbags)

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(Source: zbags)

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euxinova:

27a.

euxinova:

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dnuuk:

lesanteamour:

reachformynutzack:

mad42o:

danielaxdgarcia:

O.o

Amazing tranzformation!!

Has science gone TOO far?!?!

Transformaciones

Wicked!

dnuuk:

lesanteamour:

reachformynutzack:

mad42o:

danielaxdgarcia:

O.o

Amazing tranzformation!!

Has science gone TOO far?!?!

Transformaciones

Wicked!

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I hate it when my apartment has a mouse problem but the traps only catch donuts and jellyfish. If I wanted your candy, I’d build an impenetrable fortress out of insect opinions. Twelve 0.05 millimeter-tall Pancho Villa clones would have to spend their entire lives breakdancing to bring one tardigrade to orgasm. There are secretly edible action figures that beg children to dismember and eat them one week after purchase, and if you are bitten by one, your seventh son will at full moons become a wax figurine, invisible to all but capable of laughter. Do you spay and neuter your grotesques? Please engineer a species of enormous firefly that curls up and becomes a biodegradable lantern upon dying. I love it when ravenous harp seal pups are unable to evacuate their bowels yet desire to eat my flesh all the same. The pet snack underground is teeming with extreme & uncompromising treats for your pooch. "I AM FUN! I AM FUN!" screamed the person, waving limbs around wildly and destroying property in protest of those Welsh Corgis that bark incessantly, shave their own fur off and wear other people’s lipstick. For some reason, people named Vurenzuloproxximatique have never been nice to me.

(Source: zbags)

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fridaynitegarageparty:

thimbleofwine:

zbags. always rocking.

I’d rather be doing this right now

fridaynitegarageparty:

thimbleofwine:

zbags. always rocking.

I’d rather be doing this right now

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27.
THE THIRD ITEM INSPECTED: A BUST OF A WOMAN WITH AN ARTICULATED MOUTH AND MOVING GLASS EYES, POSITIONED IN FRONT OF A PANORAMA OF THE EUXINOVAN COASTLINE PAINTED ON A SPOOLED LINEN SCROLL.
WILFRED.    I recognize this exhibit from the Exposition. It runs hourly at the Central Pavilion — but there, a man beside the display delineates the visual tour, and no bust such as this is involved. It seems designed to mouth the narration like a puppet.
AULDOMOUCHE.    Its style and construction leave no doubt that it’s of the same manufacture as the automated sculptures found in the Parc d’Urongelex. Surely the noted entrepreneur Visculorph d’Urongelex wishes to expand the presence of these devices — and he has married into the financial means to accomplish this — yet I’ve noticed they are not readily embraced by the public outside of their pastoral-satirical sphere.
The characters all derive from Euxinovan myths and theatrical traditions, dating back at least to the Romans. (This figure is clearly no exception and Ovarind would have been able to tell us more about it.) Most seem obscure, unfamiliar to common audiences, and this might result in a slight sense of unease in the average spectator. I believe that of the dioramas operated by d’Urongelex in Ellubecque’s Paysage de Beau Monde, only the exhibit “Thriampa Revealed” (which is forbidden to children) features automatons.
It is mystifying that he would store such items here — here of all places. And what dealings would he have with The Society of the Iron Frond?

THE THIRD ITEM INSPECTED: A BUST OF A WOMAN WITH AN ARTICULATED MOUTH AND MOVING GLASS EYES, POSITIONED IN FRONT OF A PANORAMA OF THE EUXINOVAN COASTLINE PAINTED ON A SPOOLED LINEN SCROLL.

WILFRED.    I recognize this exhibit from the Exposition. It runs hourly at the Central Pavilion — but there, a man beside the display delineates the visual tour, and no bust such as this is involved. It seems designed to mouth the narration like a puppet.

AULDOMOUCHE.    Its style and construction leave no doubt that it’s of the same manufacture as the automated sculptures found in the Parc d’Urongelex. Surely the noted entrepreneur Visculorph d’Urongelex wishes to expand the presence of these devices — and he has married into the financial means to accomplish this — yet I’ve noticed they are not readily embraced by the public outside of their pastoral-satirical sphere.

The characters all derive from Euxinovan myths and theatrical traditions, dating back at least to the Romans. (This figure is clearly no exception and Ovarind would have been able to tell us more about it.) Most seem obscure, unfamiliar to common audiences, and this might result in a slight sense of unease in the average spectator. I believe that of the dioramas operated by d’Urongelex in Ellubecque’s Paysage de Beau Monde, only the exhibit “Thriampa Revealed” (which is forbidden to children) features automatons.

It is mystifying that he would store such items here — here of all places. And what dealings would he have with The Society of the Iron Frond?

(Source: euxinova.com, via euxinova)

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noirefrost:

zbags:

Seven Again by Colin Raff
Now at 2mb for clarified buggery

I think those dice might be loaded

noirefrost:

zbags:

Seven Again by Colin Raff

Now at 2mb for clarified buggery

I think those dice might be loaded