- Me: I am currently all by myself, yet wish to be even more alone than this, if possible
- Tcharanzemuppe: Forget your self-importance and socialize with us right now
- Rooch: I can form a lozenge
- Scrotazelp: I wield a rhombus
- Quixitterilck: I can pull fresh dolls out of the abysmal fire
- Reaptango: I come up with all the fun activities, like mistaking bits of string for snakes
- Cyclock: I will grant you paralysis so that you may be my lawn goose forever and wear these special bonnets
- Vulgreenus: I will wait patiently by the steps
- Me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sadly, ink sacs are still only found on mollusks, so that "Baby Goat Fried in its Own Ink" remains a culinary impossibility. The cat’s away till the cows come home. Wanted: a new kind of nightingale kidney simulator that runs on ChapStick. I can just imagine you getting your entire skeleton magnetized before lunchtime. Elizabethan harp seals had sharp tusks and could taste gravity. Stop stashing me beneath old, ornate teak fixtures when I’m not awake. We never make mistakes, just grotesque little accidents. You can lead your grandmother to water, but you can’t teach her to suck eggs. Half a loaf is worth two in the bush. Footage of Guantanamo detainees is being used to torture Muppets. Press chin against monitor to see the effect of adding concentrated hydrogen peroxide to diced fetal mermaid haunches. Ask your local video rental outlet about the student nurses who decided to metamorphose into fish, changed their minds halfway, then got into wacky fights on WorldStarHipHop. Time will tell all of your most cheddar secrets. Whether or not you believe in their healing properties, my kidney stones make stunning collectors’ items, complementing my wide-ranging collection of astronaut feces.
Innovative tech idea: a soft grunge sexual aid that appears to double as a chastity belt for your pet tarantula that is also a superhero film in which the hero has already been ground into pasta filling and people sit around eating tortellini and nothing happens. This statement cannot be unverified. Try it. My pet jumbo size carnivorous barnacle has so much joie de vivre that i can’t provide it with enough exciting activities and am a bad owner. My salt shaker is chock full o’ mosquito tonsils, but if I sprinkle out 150, it will be merely full and no longer chock. Please don’t tell anyone how I use my amazing Lucite uvula to train wasp collectives to lick my flatware. The quaized micronoglürk has three round-headed plinques on it, whilst some linen or other cloth still adheres to its insides. To vinch where it pletches is better than ripe queents or eelziporphlexes. Hummingbirds that thrive in corrupt meat give birth to microscopic clowns 7 times out of 10. Once again, in the background of a soft grunge image of mine, you have appeared clad in a non-soft grunge hat, and this is not appreciated. It’s time to stop romanticizing the way baby swans explode when you feed them self-healing coconut-almond cookies capable of data transmission that measure pulse and respiration rate while melting inside the body. I like to drink diabetic cats because their blood is sweet with unmetabolized kitty-glucose.