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reblorg:


— zbags
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(Source: zbags)

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a-thousand-thoughtz:

zbags:

Now at 2mb for advanced linguistics

zbags Love Your Blog!

a-thousand-thoughtz:

zbags:

Now at 2mb for advanced linguistics

zbags Love Your Blog!

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wet-farts-smell-the-same asked: Zbags stands for Zesty Bagatelles?? Learned something new today.

Colostromo: I’ll break your arm if you spout another acronym! I want to know: what’s the pitcher’s name?

Owlbroth: Zesty Bagatelles.

Colostromo: What’s that mean?

Owlbroth: I think it’s whoever is not on second base.

Colostromo: But if whoever is on second base is a mummy, and all werewolves can only the truth, then…

Owlbroth & Colostromo Together: Third base!

[PAUSE]

Ghost of Aristotle (unnoticed): I wanted you teach you how to make these lo-fat butterscotch squares. I could have loved you, but, but, but… [sobs]



Colostromo: Got a catcher?

Owlbroth: Certainly.

Colostromo: The catcher’s name?

Owlbroth: Today.

Colostromo: Today we are bathed in daylight, and tomorrow the sky will be pitch black. Look: already it is raining syrup!


Owlbroth: [begins to hover in air] Look eastward… Look eastward…



[Exeunt.]



CURTAIN

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karhs:

bogleech:

The only phrase you’ll need to know when you tour Germany

The most disappointing thing is that the translation isn’t even marginally similar. From what I can tell, it’s “My little oven swims in the sea. Where are the [I don’t know Steckdosen]? Who’s making tea?”
And to think, I could have learned the german for “disemboweled,” “Hagfish,” and “leeks” all in one sentence. My disappointment is immeasurable.

karhs:

bogleech:

The only phrase you’ll need to know when you tour Germany

The most disappointing thing is that the translation isn’t even marginally similar. From what I can tell, it’s “My little oven swims in the sea. Where are the [I don’t know Steckdosen]? Who’s making tea?”

And to think, I could have learned the german for “disemboweled,” “Hagfish,” and “leeks” all in one sentence. My disappointment is immeasurable.

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JiPoshy: THE COOLEST CREEPIEST ART ON THE NET - COLIN RAFF
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silhouettewarmth:

I’m f*cked in the head
#lonerforlife
#thatswhatyougetforbeingtoonice
#walkedovereveryday

silhouettewarmth:

I’m f*cked in the head

#lonerforlife

#thatswhatyougetforbeingtoonice

#walkedovereveryday

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euxinova:

23a.

euxinova:

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masturbrainshun:

marcedith:

…..Colin Raff…..

PULL THE TRIGGER!!!

masturbrainshun:

marcedith:

…..Colin Raff…..

PULL THE TRIGGER!!!

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(Source: zbags)

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23.
"Poor Ovarind! To have been so generally insightful, yet so fatally mistaken!
"Evidently our adversaries, when passing this point, anticipate the event: They must engage this cruel device somehow, and retain it in such a way that they can use it to gain entry to the secret rooms beyond — see how this orphaned spandrel descends — how the small metal bit fits the protuberance at the top of the cranial vise like a lock — see how this action causes that heavy door to crack open! Our route is now clear.
“For this reason, I’m afraid we’ll have to keep his corpse with us, in this state, withholding any formalities until later.”

"Poor Ovarind! To have been so generally insightful, yet so fatally mistaken!

"Evidently our adversaries, when passing this point, anticipate the event: They must engage this cruel device somehow, and retain it in such a way that they can use it to gain entry to the secret rooms beyond — see how this orphaned spandrel descends — how the small metal bit fits the protuberance at the top of the cranial vise like a lock — see how this action causes that heavy door to crack open! Our route is now clear.

“For this reason, I’m afraid we’ll have to keep his corpse with us, in this state, withholding any formalities until later.”

(Source: euxinova.com, via euxinova)

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marcedith:

…..Colin Raff……..

marcedith:

…..Colin Raff……..

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The special “sadness” bongos will be playing all night. Your rancid plumage makes my trachea tingle. The tongue is the only muscle in your body that can be seen by koalas while you sleep. Being a were-raisin is especially dangerous. An enveloping black cloud carbonates my blood with pockets of emptiness and it’s a crisp refreshing feeling. The soft grunge exhilarates you! I can smell it in your eyes. At the instant of engine failure, an airborne proctologist should rename herself Cephaloquariel. “My scratch-n-sniff pet pygmy yaks are coated with Teflon to deflect stains,” bawls the figure from the castle in a hollow, hideous voice that I’ve heard somewhere before. I admire the thanotarian flubhumanist who can’t manage to commit suicide but dies trying. Let’s taste-test teas brewed from the navel lint of undead jumbo bumblebees whose faces resemble pugs via natural selection. The eyes of baleen turtles are located within the shell, behind the grille of bristles, and thus cannot be seen. Do these elongated, spade-shaped hooves make me look flat? Required delusion: I baked a sweet potato simply by holding it in my left hand. Keep in mind that your beagle puppy is not perfectly spherical. It is actually squashed in a bit at the haunches and widest at the muzzle.

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Risograph prints, editions of 100, sold here.

More products forthcoming.

(Source: zbags)